Revewe: Clash of the Titans

· Joanthan Poritsky

[![Not Clash of the Titans - Happy April Fools]( content/uploads/2010/04/rememberthetitans_pg01-300x150.jpg)](http://www.candle over Avatar, there’s a new king of 3D in town and his name just happens to be Persius. Where else can you see Sam Worthington jumping onto CG birds? Not in that $500 million film. Support independent filmmaking and definitely give a click to Louis Leterrier’s greatest film since Hulk. Clash of the Titans is a mile a minute thrill ride that sucks you in early and never lets go. How? Because it’s 3 frickin’ D.

The film opens in the heavens, just like all Greek mythology films should. As we whip around space and time, our eyes are vacuum sealed to every frenetic movement. In plain old 2D, we would never get the full Greek effect, but since this film adds the real-time additional graphics, our minds get blown right away. It is truly the most amazing film I’ve seen this quarter, so far.

The team behind this film met the daunting task of a remake quite well. Though the original film, directed by Ray Harryhausen, is regarded by many as an untouchable classic of the cinema, the problem with that 1963 film was that they hadn’t yet invented 3D. It looks dumb now looking back on it, but for it’s time it really was a major advancement. Except for the 3D, this is basically a shot for shot remake, except Hercules is completely written out of the plot. The only place where they lose points is for completely stealing the look and feel of 300. Maybe it is meant as an homage to Zack Snyder, whose unrelenting artistry compels filmmakers around the world.

Sam Worthington is truly the actor of our times, especially for his ability to jump  onto birds. I don’t know how he does it, but I head he trains parkour about three hours every day. Liam Neeson brings his godly charm to the role of Zeus. His brother, Hades, is portrayed with scathing accuracy by Josef Fiennes, who is reunited with Liam for the first time since Schindler’s List. It’s weird how they’re both type cast again as good guy and bad guy. Do these guys have another note?

Finally, I want to mention all the animosity that has been brewing about this film. A lot of people are talking about how they added the 3D after they shot the film in 2D, as if this somehow cheapens the effect. This is total bullcrap. This movie looks absolutely amazing in 3D. Wah wah wah, you need to pay an extra 10 or 12 dollars to see it 3D. Go back to your trust funds and live a little. After all it’s a just a movie so who really cares about it anyway? You should, that’s why you pay the extra price to see an amazing 3D movie. The titles practically fly right at your face! I hope Jim Cameron didn’t see this because he’s gonna be pissed that Zeus stole his thunder, literally.

April Fools'!

If you are a new reader to the candler blog, then I welcome you and I hope you take a poke around. If you are a regular then I hope you quickly realized that something was up the second you laid eyes on this post.

The above post is a parody of the worst film writing I have seen out there. Besides the typos, incomplete (or overlong) sentences, and misinformed facts, the real trouble with this review is that it doesn’t really say anything. That means it isn’t criticism at all, it’s just a rant.

I believe that the film writing we do here, most of the time, goes beyond the rantings and ravings of a film-loving lunatic. There’s a time and a place for that, but it doesn’t always lead somewhere you want to be. Click around the candler blog and see what you find. I hope you find that critical writing is alive and well…on the internet…on a blog.